Over time I started to realize that everyone doesn’t need to know every single detail of my life especially if I am still figuring it out myself. We have all been betrayed one time or another and for me I had enough. I had enough of confiding in one person to then find out 20 more people now know about it, or at least some type of broken telephone version. I had enough of explaining my issue/ problem/ happiness/ success/ sadness to people who quite frankly didn’t give a sh*t. I had enough of feeling like people were invading my personal space. I just had enough and decided that I had to take back control of my life.
I started to keep things to myself and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I’m not saying that I don’t share things with friends and family but I want to feel out the situation free of any biases, to make sure that I am comfortable about it first before letting anyone else in.
I remember when I needed to make a change in my career almost 2 years ago. I hit a plateau in my position as there was no more room for growth. I was unable to “climb the corporate” ladder to advance not only my carer but myself. So I started looking for a new one. I didn’t tell anyone until I landed something that I was going to be happy about, something that was going to put me on the right path. For about two months I was searching and went on about 3 interviews until I was offered a great opportunity. I waited until I accepted the offer and read my contract before I let everyone in on the big news. My close friends and family knew that I was thinking of making a career change but for me actions speak louder than words. I wanted to make sure that I was ready to take the next step and didn’t want anyone else to get into my head. I didn’t want to hear the “what if’s” or anything that would discourage me from even trying.
The same goes for a project I am working on, a new man in my life and you know those curve balls life likes to throw at you. Let me do the trial and error before I bring anyone else into the mix with their ideas or comments. I don’t need to feed into the negativity that may make me loose track of my end goal. When I am completely stumped and not sure which way to go I will talk to someone who I am comfortable with. I may not take what they have to say but at least it gives me a different perspective, a fresh way of thinking.
I have had a lot of “friends” come in and out and by this point I know who I can go to with certain things. Especially when you have a close knit group of friends and you tell one and that one NEEDS to tell the other to just get it off their chest. I mean we are all friends right? WRONG! If I wanted to let the whole group know then I would simply let them know. But if I am coming to you to tell you something I only want you to hold it. I came specifically to you for a reason and when I am ready to let everyone else know I will. Until then I think it’s fair for me to pick who I want to let in. It doesn’t mean I trust one friend over the other, it just means that the person I came to may be able to help me out because they have more knowledge on the topic/ issue.
In all I am able to enjoy my life choices before facing a firing squad of criticism, but I have also become more confident without the approval of others. Take the time to bask in your accomplishments/ choices and get comfortable with it. Once you have let everyone else in on it (well if you choose) only then will you see that you were able to defeat the naysayers. Nothing negative can ruin it because you already succeeded.
Let me know how you keep the negativity out of your life.