“If you find yourself stuck in the middle there is only one way to go, forward.” – Sir Richard Branson
Being stuck in the middle is never fun, especially when it’s between two of your best friends. So what do you do when you have to choose a side?
My answer, you don’t! First, what is going on between them has nothing to do with you. Second, the issue between the two of them goes deeper than this disagreement. Think about it. Majority of friends get into little fights, it happens. You may be upset for 10 minutes you may be upset for 10 days but in the end you know it’s not worth throwing your friendship out over. For the disagreement to go as far as making other friends in the group choose, there is resentment being held for something that happened in the past. Whatever it was it was never fully worked out and patched up. If the friendship is worth saving they need to get to the root of the problem. The two friends need to sit down and communicate with one another and not hold anything back. Let it ALL out. This talk will pave the way of where the friendship will go. Either they both come to an understanding or they go their separate ways. But it needs to be figured out because it will effect the rest of the group.
I recently had two of my best friends part ways and let me tell you it…sucked! Their relationship was becoming toxic for reasons that life throws at us which ultimately ended in them parting ways. At first I sided with one friend over the other because I didn’t like how the situation was handled. Some time passed and an event came up where we would come face to face since the phone blow up. Was it awkward? Nope, not at all. Like I said, shes one of my best friends so we fight, argure and then continue on. Since that day everything went back to…normal. I knew once I erased the line there was going to be an issue. I was right. The friend that I originally sided with was beyond mad and gave me the ultimatum to choose who I was going to remain friends with. It went worse than I originally thought it was going to go. It ended on the note of my loyalty being questioned because I decided to remain friends with one of my best friends. That was what hurt the most but I still stuck by with what i felt and didn’t choose a side. I refused to choose between the two. I have built so much with the both of them. They have seen me at my strongest and weakest. They were both there through the smiles and tears. They were there through my victories and losses. Not choosing is the same as choosing right?
Since I didn’t choose I ended up losing a friend. Does it bother me? Hell yea it does! But I had to look at the bigger picture. I wasn’t going to throw one friendship away to accommodate another when they are not taking me into consideration. They are putting me in a position that isn’t fair. I have to be selfish in this situation and do what I feel is right for me. If we are truly friends, it shouldn’t matter who I talk to because I would never allow someone, ex friend or not, talk bad about you in any way. I have stopped talking to plenty of people that my good friends are still cool with but I don’t tell them to stop talking to so and so. That’s fine, be friends with them. I just expect the same in return especially when it comes to someone where our friendship has blossomed into family.
If it has nothing to do with you stay out of it. You may have an opinion, and that’s fine. Voice it. Say what you have to but don’t let that opinion dictate your friendship. If you are then made to choose, choose none because a true friend would never make you choose.
**During this series I will use examples from my own life to let you know I went through it. I mean who would take advice from someone who has yet to experience something right?